She has had a month of success beyond compare and one little grade on one test, has wiped the feeling of success and turned it into negative self talk. She talked herself into a full blown panic attack during class, heart pounding, face numbing panic. Her friend had to come get her from class.
All I could do was listen and try not to cry, this was not easy. I wanted to hold her so badly so she would know the love behind my words. I wanted to get in the car and drive to her. I finally broke through the negativity and low self esteem for now. I pray that she follows my advice, because I don't know if I can handle this every time a semester comes an end.
We hung up and I cried, a lot... I thought of my OLW: Release. I don't know that I am ready to release her to the world. I know that she is not ready to be released, I could clearly hear that in her words. The crying words of my oldest child called me mommy has left me broken today... the same day that our Lord and Savior left His mommy broken at the foot of the cross. So yes, I am releasing this, I am leaving this at the foot of the cross because He will calm her during this storm.
This I know to be true... always.