Not So Good Sunday

An old friend of mine called today to talk about our graduating daughters.  After all these years growing up apart, our girls will be at the same college in the same dorm.  Imagine that!

I cried uncontrollably after we hung up because today was a day when I did not want to let Jessica go, I want her to stay here with me so badly.  I know it is selfish and I know I sound like an awful mom, but I love her so much, so very much.  I was doing ok, until today.  My friend is so supportive and has already been able to let go of her baby, how can she do it?  Why can't I?  I want nothing but the very best for her and yet, I want to hold her and never let go.

Today was not a good day.... Julianne walked in on me crying while I was trying to sweep the floor.  She walked out because she knew, she just knew.  I remember when Jessica started Kindergarten and I held Julianne out of preschool that year so I could spend one solid year alone with her, just like I did when Jessica was our first.  Now I have the chance to spend the last 2 years of Julianne's high school life alone with her, while Jessica spreads those wings and flies away from her safe nest. This is a good thing, it really is. I will cherish these years with her and I will be happy and sad at the same time, but that is ok.  It is part of the mommy package, holding it together while falling apart.

Today was not a good day, but there is always tomorrow.


  1. I have 2 girls 11 and 5. Almost every day when I walk around the house and see little pink shoes, Tangled dolls, and peace clothes I think one day the girls will be gone and all of this won't be here! It is the hardest part, for me, as a Mom to think one day they will be all grown up and leave for college and to start their lives. It makes me cry just to say that.

    I work with ladies who have grown children and everyone of them have told me that it is sad to let them go but it starts a whole new exciting chapter in your relationship with them.

    I guess only time will tell! Either way, I understand how you can be torn between being happy and still so sad!

  2. "I will be happy and sad at the same time, but that is ok. It is part of the mommy package" I LOVE this and it is so true! My oldest will be 11 in a couple of weeks and one of his bday gifts will be the privilege of staying home by himself for short periods of time. *sob* Thanks for your Mommy wisdom today. :)

  3. Emily,
    Enjoy every minute of those little pink shoes! Today was really, really rough for us, but we got through it. Watching your children become independent is so bittersweet. Graduation is Monday, let's see how I get through that day!

  4. Christine,
    When I opened the mommy package 18 years ago, who knew that I would be still be sitting here crying at the drop of a hat! It feels like PPD part 2, LOL. 11 seems so far away, but it also seems like yesterday. That's the best part of being a mommy, you don't forget one smile, one tear, one laugh, one moment. Thanks for sharing <3


A Note From Those in the Pink <3