Dancing, Driving, and Daughters

Dancing:

As you have read in earlier posts this week, I had the pleasure of taking my youngest to her first college dance auditions this week.  FSU on Wednesday, USF today.  The jury is still out on whether or not she will make the programs, but the experience was worth it (my words, not hers).  She didn't like the program at FSU, not the college, just the program.  Her personality doesn't seem like it would be a good fit for what they portray dancers to be in their program.  It was more about who you know, which is always a hard lesson for our kids, but a lesson, nonetheless.  It is a shame because she really wanted to go to FSU, but it doesn't look like she will choose their program if she is in fact chosen.  USF, not a contender, until today.  She loved it, go figure.  They actually let us watch the group auditions, so I was in dance mom heaven.  She felt at home (I hate that phrase, I want her at my home, forever) and I guess that is what we want for our babies, to feel at home when they are not home... Oh, I don't know, that sounds stupid, but it's a fact.  Home away from home.  We still have more auditions to go, so let's see where God places her.

Driving:

I drove, the whole time, listening to ONE DIRECTION.  What is a 17 year old doing obsessing over a boy band for goodness sakes?  I now know all the words to every single one of their songs and I think she thinks she is marrying Niall, but we haven't told him yet.  If that's the case, she should let him know, maybe he can drive her to the next round of auditions.  Maybe she won't have to go to college, he will just pay for her to dance on stage while he sings.  He might even be able to get her to learn how to drive and get her license so I can hang up my taxi sign forever.

Daughters:

I loved spending this week with her, it was amazing.  We laughed, we cried, we fought (of course we fought, it wouldn't be a mother/daughter trip without a good fight) and she told me some of her secrets.  She thinks they were secrets, so we will just go with that... We spent time with Big Miss on Sunday before we journeyed to auditions so I had a double dose of daughters this week, it was a good week.  I also got to see my goddaughter for the first time in 5 years, she was auditioning at both schools too and we didn't even know!  They had a great time with each other and are already planning to be roommates should they choose the same school.

This was a great week, I hope our drive home tomorrow is quick.  At least I will have One Direction to keep me company!

                 

Deja Vu with Daughter #2

Tomorrow is a big day over here for us, as I begin the College Road Trip with Little Miss!  I can't believe it is here already, I am pretty sure I just finished writing about our first College Road Trip (I capitalize it because it just seems so damn important, lol).  Those of you who have followed me from the beginning, know what this trip does to me.  Please be prepared for the crazy crying and denial that will occur over the next year as I make the journey to send the last of my babies off to the other side of the rainbow.  Believe me when I tell you, clicking your ruby red Crocs three times and saying "I wish she were home" doesn't work (I try and I try, but nothing).  


Tomorrow we drive to Tampa, then Tallahassee, and then finish off the week in Orlando where Big Miss will join us at a really nice resort (no theme parks this time, I think, well maybe).  We are going to soak in the sun and hang out by the pool, just us three (hubby can't make it, he's not a teacher so he doesn't have my vacay perks).


Keep us in your thoughts and send good vibes to this blogging buddy, I am going to need it as I venture into this realm once again.  This time may be worse, so get ready for the tissues people!  


See you on Sunday (or before if I get bored in the hotel).

UCF Family Weekend

We are out of town this weekend enjoying big miss at UCF.  Go Knights!  See you all on Monday.

College Family Weekend: 1 Week Away!

We are lucky enough to be a part of a University that loves families!  Next week we are travelling to see big miss at her new home, this will be mister pinks first trip to her university, I can't wait to see his face!  Little miss is excited because this trip will include a football game, she is our football fiend!  It may not be the her beloved Patriots, but UCF vs. Boston College is good enough for now.
I am excited because we will get to see big miss in her environment and we will also get to spend the weekend with my long time friend and her family.  It just so happens that her daughter is at UCF too, so we are sharing in the experience.  Big miss and her daughter are God-sisters (I am the Godparent of her son).  Here is to a week's worth of 24 hour days with a happy end next weekend!

One Week

One week ago, I said goodbye to my baby girl and left her at that big bad University.  To be honest, it hasn't been that bad, much to my surprise!  I have thought about her everyday, that is a fact, but I have also continued to live, laugh, and love, in spite of me not wanting to.  We talked everyday (she called me) and I had my first Skype experience, ever.  I miss her so, but I also get to relish every minute of her independence and it makes my heart oh so very proud.
Little miss and I are forging a new relationship without big miss here, so that is the upside to all of this.  She has me to herself and vice versa, we are off to the mall together as of this writing.
There is joy in in watching our hearts walk around outside of us, I am living this moment wholeheartedly and I am smiling, not crying, when I think of big miss.  This has been a good week, in the end.  I know we will all be ok.

College Countdown is Over

I DID IT!  We took Jessica (big miss) off to college and I had to leave her there (lol).  I cried a total of 4 times and 3 of them were on the drive up!  I was so distraught that I didn't notice the 87 MPH on my gauge, so of course, I got a ticket.  I didn't even know that there were troopers up in planes sending your speed down to the troopers on the ground!  I was told that it was a speed trap, college bound families were all over the road, and they knew it! 

Oh well, we got her room up and ready, she is having a blast so far.  It is very strange to know that her room will be empty, unless little miss takes it over soon!  I am exhausted, so I will write more tomorrow.
Thanks for all the support!

T-0

Tomorrow morning we are leaving to take Jessica to college, this bittersweet moment has come all to fast for this mommy.  I remember posting T-200+ days and here we are at the zero hour.  I can't believe it, I really can't.  This afternoon when my principal was speaking to us at our opening of schools meeting she talked about a few key people on staff.  When she spoke about me, she added that tomorrow will be a big day for me so she would like for everyone to keep me in their thoughts. She then said those fateful words, "because Mrs. Fernandez will be taking her daughter to college".  I must tell you that hearing someone else say it brought me to tears, right there in our cafeteria, I cried like a baby.  I tried to hold back the tears, but I couldn't.  She of course then had to add that she has known Jessica since she was a little girl, because we met when she was my AP at my previous school when Jessica was in 4th grade.

I hope and pray that this weekend will hold us until we see each other in a few weeks for family weekend.  I am getting choked up, so I must leave you for now.  Keep us in your thoughts.



T-5

5 days, 5 very short days.  I can't believe it, where did the time go?  Summer has flown by and now I am back to work tomorrow, little miss starts practice again, and big miss is off to college on Friday.  Life is spinning out of control, all for the good, but out of control, nonetheless.  I wish I would have savored the past 18 years just a little bit more.  Would that have even been possible?  I doubt it, I loved every second that I spent with big miss on this journey and now she is off to use all I taught her.  She is going to make my heart proud, prouder.

T-7

Well, here we are, 1 week away from taking Jessica off to her new college home.  I have to say, I have gotten through this week without too many tears, a few, but not many.  I am hoping that I can contain myself for the next few days, as there is much to do.  I will be spending every waking moment in my classroom and she is tying up her loose ends.  I will let you know how this week unfolds.  Happy Friday everyone!

T-16

The excitement in her voice when she called me today was contagious.  She called to tell me about all the events that she will be attending during her first week of college, her first week, not here with me.  Concerts, meetings, and a Target School Event just for students of her college.  I have to admit, this is the one that got me.  Target, closed just for you, OMG!!!!!  Buses picking up students and taking them to Target, at night, to get FREE stuff! Why don't they do this for teachers?  I would be all up in that.  So I sort of told her to remember how much mommy loves Target and if there is any FREE stuff I could use, just grab 2, nobody will notice.  She has been to enough events with me to know how the smash and grab works, lol.
That's it for today.  No mushiness, no sadness, just fun.  Thank you Target!

T-17

Today I got to spend the evening watching Pretty Little Liars with my girls.  We love this show!  Jessica hasn't watched it with me lately because she has this weekly sleepover thing going with her best friend before she leaves to college, but today was our sleepover turn, so I got to join in.  I will take any moment I can with her, even if I have to share it with everyone else.  As I watch things unfold, I am noticing a difference in my little miss, she is very moody.  I have to wonder if it is because of the impending doom of Jessica leaving (how dramatic, lol).  I am sure that Julianne is dreading having to entertain me for the next few months until her sister returns for Thanksgiving break, but entertain me, she will.  In 17 days, she will be the only child for a while.  Gosh, that sounds terrible.  She will never be the only child, she will just be the only one living at home for now.  What thoughts will tomorrow bring?

T-18

Another day closer, another day filled with worry.  Big Miss went to the doctor today, alone (this is what happens at 18...) because she thought her belly piercing was infected.  I told her on Saturday it was fine, she should just clean it out and put Neosporin on it.  Nope, wasn't gonna happen, mom knows nothing, besides Neosporin will clog it and keep the infection inside.  Oh, ok, yeah, that's exactly what will happen.  Fast forward to today:  Not infected, put Neosporin on it.  I gotta love this kid!  That college clinic is going to have a ball with my daughter!  Best part, she got the first series of the HPV shot, on her own.  I have to say that was a great decision, so we are even, for now (LOL).  All that aside, I am glad that I am still the mommy who knows what is good and right for my adult child.  I worry that she may panic if she doesn't feel well or something doesn't feel right, but I am only a phone call away, right?  God will take care of her, He always does.

T-19

In 19 days, I will have a college freshman on her own out there in the big bad world.  I have tried many times to breathe through the sadness and fear that I dwells inside of me, but each day I find something else to worry about.  It isn't that I think she will not be safe, that really is the least of it, I know she has a good head on her shoulders.  I just can't fathom the thought that her room will be empty more than full during each of the next 4 years.  This is really what we, as parents, are supposed to do? Watch them toddle around, pick them up, and then send them off? I am beyond sad, if there could be such a place.  
I know her sister is trying to keep a smile on her face, but when day 19 gets here and she has to say goodbye, that will be the hardest of all.  I will have to watch my 2 most precious gifts break as they give one last hug before going in different directions.  I cry as I type, my throat tightens, and I am choked up.  That moment is the moment when I will finally break.