Dancing:
As you have read in earlier posts this week, I had the pleasure of taking my youngest to her first college dance auditions this week. FSU on Wednesday, USF today. The jury is still out on whether or not she will make the programs, but the experience was worth it (my words, not hers). She didn't like the program at FSU, not the college, just the program. Her personality doesn't seem like it would be a good fit for what they portray dancers to be in their program. It was more about who you know, which is always a hard lesson for our kids, but a lesson, nonetheless. It is a shame because she really wanted to go to FSU, but it doesn't look like she will choose their program if she is in fact chosen. USF, not a contender, until today. She loved it, go figure. They actually let us watch the group auditions, so I was in dance mom heaven. She felt at home (I hate that phrase, I want her at my home, forever) and I guess that is what we want for our babies, to feel at home when they are not home... Oh, I don't know, that sounds stupid, but it's a fact. Home away from home. We still have more auditions to go, so let's see where God places her.
Driving:
I drove, the whole time, listening to ONE DIRECTION. What is a 17 year old doing obsessing over a boy band for goodness sakes? I now know all the words to every single one of their songs and I think she thinks she is marrying Niall, but we haven't told him yet. If that's the case, she should let him know, maybe he can drive her to the next round of auditions. Maybe she won't have to go to college, he will just pay for her to dance on stage while he sings. He might even be able to get her to learn how to drive and get her license so I can hang up my taxi sign forever.
Daughters:
I loved spending this week with her, it was amazing. We laughed, we cried, we fought (of course we fought, it wouldn't be a mother/daughter trip without a good fight) and she told me some of her secrets. She thinks they were secrets, so we will just go with that... We spent time with Big Miss on Sunday before we journeyed to auditions so I had a double dose of daughters this week, it was a good week. I also got to see my goddaughter for the first time in 5 years, she was auditioning at both schools too and we didn't even know! They had a great time with each other and are already planning to be roommates should they choose the same school.
This was a great week, I hope our drive home tomorrow is quick. At least I will have One Direction to keep me company!
Throughout the years as a mom, I have heard the phrase "it's official" for many different reasons. From being chosen for the part in the school play to graduating with top honors and everything in between. The only time that phrase tears at my heart and makes me worry for days on end is when my beautiful daughters say "it's official, I have a boyfriend". Now, my youngest has never said this, even though she is 17, because she doesn't give her heart away very easily. My oldest, however, has...more than once...and this time she is away at college living in an apartment and has made it official with the boy man downstairs.
I tried, I really tried to sound enthusiastic, but she heard it in my voice. She heard the worry and the not so sure feeling of mom in a panic. So she texted me and asked if I was happy for her. Well, that hit me where it hurts because I am happy, of course I relish in the happiness of my children. I assured her that I was happy and then went on the mom rant of be safe, school and work come first, make sure he respects your decisions, etc. etc. etc. When what I really wanted to say was "DO NOT HAVE SEX". Yes that is the gist of it, I can't even fathom, nor do I want to.
I know you understand, I know you feel my pain. I want my 3 year old ballerina back, now. Long gone are the days of worrying about scraped knees and mean girls. Worrying about sex and all the crap that comes along with it, I'm not ready. If I'm not ready, is she?
Tomorrow is a big day over here for us, as I begin the College Road Trip with Little Miss! I can't believe it is here already, I am pretty sure I just finished writing about our first College Road Trip (I capitalize it because it just seems so damn important, lol). Those of you who have followed me from the beginning, know what this trip does to me. Please be prepared for the crazy crying and denial that will occur over the next year as I make the journey to send the last of my babies off to the other side of the rainbow. Believe me when I tell you, clicking your ruby red Crocs three times and saying "I wish she were home" doesn't work (I try and I try, but nothing).
Tomorrow we drive to Tampa, then Tallahassee, and then finish off the week in Orlando where Big Miss will join us at a really nice resort (no theme parks this time, I think, well maybe). We are going to soak in the sun and hang out by the pool, just us three (hubby can't make it, he's not a teacher so he doesn't have my vacay perks).
Keep us in your thoughts and send good vibes to this blogging buddy, I am going to need it as I venture into this realm once again. This time may be worse, so get ready for the tissues people!
See you on Sunday (or before if I get bored in the hotel).
Today I spent the whole day with Big Miss (Jessica). We had the best time together. I will miss these days when she leaves on the 19th, so I am going to soak in all this mother/daughter goodness for a while. We stopped by my classroom, went shopping, had lunch and then we went to see Harry Potter. It was amazing to see how she reacted the same way Little Miss did when I saw it with her on opening night. I am glad that I got to share this movie with each of them separately, it made the ending of an era even more special. I am trying not to count the days left, but they are lingering there in the back of my mind.
