Orientation Woes

We are home from college orientation and I have such mixed feelings.  It was exciting and heartwarming to see Jessica open up to all that is being offered to her.  I now see the adult I have helped nourish and encourage these past few months.  She really didn't need me for much and although it does hurt my heart, it also fills it up with a love that gave me butterflies.


I sit here, filled with information overload, and not feeling better about the money situation or about her leaving, but I have now placed it all in His hands.  He has to provide for her because we just don't have the means, that has become very clear after these past 2 days listening to the fees add up.  I am completely disheartened in our government and the financial woes it places on hard working loyal Americans when it comes to college costs.


I have the rest of the summer to get Jessica ready, to help her spread her wings even more, to comfort Julianne as she realizes her sister is truly leaving, and to cry the endless tears that I will continue to cry until I am completely dried up.


The bottom line:  orientation scared the hell out of me!  I didn't show the fear, but I did cry when they talked to the parents about letting go.  Julianne laughed at me, but she said lots of moms behind me were also crying, so I wasn't alone.  I took a step forward these past 2 days, but I fear I also fell 3 steps behind.....